Thursday, January 12, 2012

Annoying Gaming Sidekicks: Round 2

A while back I wrote a blog entry about some of the irritating game characters who are sidekicks to the main protagonist.  We've all experienced the pain of adventuring alongside one of these characters, who annoy us with their constant whining, excessive neediness, or any other rage-inducing personality traits.  Today I thought I'd throw a few more annoying characters out there, so we can all reminisce about the times we wished we could toss our faithful sidekicks off a cliff.

Pete, from Rockstar's Bully

Ah good ol' Pete, the biggest sissy in all of Bullworth Academy, which is the fictional school and main setting of Bully.  Pete is one of the social outcasts of the school, not belonging to any of the various factions in Bullworth (Nerds, Preps, Greasers, and Jocks).  In his own words, he's "too cool to be a dork, and too dorky to be anything else," although in my opinion the members of the nerd faction seem pretty badass in comparison.

As you can probably guess from the above quote, Petey constantly whines and bitches about his social status and the fact that he is constantly bullied, instead of trying to do something about it, leaving us annoyed rather than sympathetic.  Have you ever had a friend who would never shut the hell up about his/her problems?  Well thanks to Bully you get to experience those joyful one-sided conversations in a videogame!  Sounds fun right?  His appearances are fortunately very few and far in between (except towards the conclusion of the game), but he ends up becoming the only real friend of main character Jimmy, so we are stuck with his sorry ass until the credits roll.

The Co-Driver/Passenger/Annoying Lady Voice from Ridge Racer 3D

I don't know if this is really her, but since she's the only girl shown in the game let's just say it is.
Ok so maybe I'm getting picky once again, but the all-seeing, all-knowing voice in Ridge Racer 3D is always with you when you race, so that should be enough to qualify her as a sidekick.  Prior to owning RR 3D, I have owned RR64, which included one race announcer who would talk occasionally, offering words of encouragement when you battled opponents, telling you how many laps were left, etc.  Ridge Racer 3D still includes the announcer, but has also added a female commentator who comments on  Drive into a wall?  Expect to hear her yell at you every time.  Bump into an opponent?  You will be chastised every time.  Execute a drift??  Expect to hear a "nice drift!" or a "you're making me dizzy!"

As a side note, in case you live in a cave and have never heard of Ridge Racer, these games require that you drift through just about every turn, so in RR 3D expect to constantly hear repetitive commentary.  I searched the game's manual thoroughly but I was unable to find the "throw your co-driver out the passenger door" button, oh well.

Slippy, from Star Fox 64

Well here we are, the mother (father?) of all annoying sidekicks.  This gender ambiguous frog (I'm just going to flip a coin and say Slippy is a guy) has been splitting our eardrums since the Nintendo 64 days.  Slippy's purpose in Star Fox 64 is to provide us with a damage meter for boss battles, as well as stating the obvious by telling us where the weak points are.  The problem is that his voice is a high-pitched shriek from hell, made worse by the fact that he communicates with Fox using a radio that has the quality of a Fisher-Price walkie-talkie.  Slippy's mostly pointless dialogue will pop up more often than you would like (ideally he should have had his vocal chords torn out before being allowed to join the Star Fox team).

When playing Star Fox 64, I usually try to get rid of Slippy as soon as possible by opening fire on his ship, but he even has the nerve to say "Hey! Why are you shooting at me?" in a pissed-off tone when you try to assassinate him, as if he doesn't know we all hate his guts.  Talk about being in denial.

With the recent re-release of Star Fox 64 for the 3DS, a new generation of gamers gets to experience the ear-damaging annoyance that is Slippy Toad.  Poor kids, not only is the 3DS ruining their eyesight, but this game is making them go deaf as well.

This concludes part 2 of Annoying Gaming Sidekicks.  Until next time!

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